Where Love Should Reign

My latest release Kill Me If You Can deals with several serious topics. Spousal abuse was the toughest to write. Growing up, I had a vague knowledge that a relative was living in a physically abusive marriage. I remember my mom wishing she could provide safe harbor for this relative. But Mom's fear that the woman's husband would hurt our family prevented her from ever making the offer. Incredibly, the woman and her husband were both devout Christians who attended regular marriage counseling sessions with their minister. At last, the woman left her husband after twenty-five years of marriage despite her intense religious convictions. I cried as I wrote Kill Me If You Can character Candice LeJeune's story, based loosely on my childhood recollections of this woman's experience as a Christian in an abusive relationship. 

In researching the topic, I discovered that Christians can actually be more susceptible to abuse than non-Christians because of our strong, though sometimes misguided, understanding of submission in marriage. Where other women (or men) might easily identify abuse and remove themselves from the situation, women and men of faith may excuse the behavior, blaming themselves for not being a better spouse and choosing to stay in the dysfunctional relationship based on religious convictions -- even when their lives are in danger. 

But abuse isn't just physical. There are forms of emotional, mental, and spiritual abuse as well. Words can eat away at self-esteem, fear can lay hold of the mind, the Bible can be made a weapon. 

Every situation is different and there is no one-size-fits-all solution for those in an abusive relationship. Only the person held in its captivity can make the decision to seek healing. 

Maybe you know someone in an abusive relationship. Maybe it's you. Do some research. Get the facts. Ask for help. Consider an action plan. Take one step right now toward life. Maybe it's as simple as making a phone call of support. Maybe it means seeking shelter. 

No change is easy. In fact, it is guaranteed to be painful. But once you walk through the curtain of pain and out the other side, there is nothing more wonderful than knowing you chose life.